I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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