You really coming over, don't trick.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
operation have a gay friend backfired
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you inspire me to be a worse person
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Randomize
