I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
well you can't waste a boner
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
