you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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