I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
