I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
