im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
