Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
