Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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