i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
