Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i think my cat just said my name.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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