i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
A bitchslap is in order.
how does that bad decision feel?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
