I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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