He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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