It's like God shit irony all over that family
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
