if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
