No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
