The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
