Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
