Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
