I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize