Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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