nut hugger
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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