She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
