Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
