It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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