Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize