we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
