I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
