if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
