You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
