Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
