i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize