you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
