barbara walters just said penis...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
