I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize