spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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