i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
