i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
