WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize