Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
