Are we in a gay sports bar?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
