I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
