I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
