I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
