Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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