She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
