dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
