how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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