I accidentally had phone sex last night
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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