you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
