Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
