you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
