I just saw a hot homeless man
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
