Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
