Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
