Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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