When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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