I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
