It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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