I think i peed on brittanys purse
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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