Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
