I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
