dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Are we still banned from the library?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
