All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
