What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
