Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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