my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
