you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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