We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dicks are not precious.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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