escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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