You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
