i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize