I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
